Hey Mammyessex
Sorry you are going through this too.
I don’t really think the lies and divorce are his way of protecting you, I think it may be more a case of just not wanting to deal with anything other than himself.
One thing I’ve noticed is that addiction makes the addict really selfish. I mean to the point of not caring if you and your kids have food to eat or whether bills are paid etc… this includes being bothered about other people’s emotional welfare and feelings.
So he’s just wanting to ‘check out’ of his responsibilities and life.
For your sake, as awful as this sounds, it can be a good thing. From everything I’ve read one forums and on the Internet in general as well as my own experience with my addict partner, it is really hard for someone to quit these addictions (both the drugs and the gambling). Someone once said to me ‘he’s never going to change’ and that was a little wake up call for me. I have been actively trying to leave mine for arpund 8/9 months now – circumstances making it hard re: housing.
Focus on yourself and your children. Have you checked whether you are entitled to any benefits to help you financially?