You are spot on, out of 4 years I think for the best part of that Iv been a carer, because he is a binge drinkers the periods in between binges would be excellent but I was always still watching and waiting for the next binge. Then the build up when I can see things were not right but couldn’t put my finger on it then bang ! Relapse.
When we have been apart previously I’d always worried about other women, he absolutely wasn’t like that at all when we were together to be fair but it was always a worry he would find someone else and be ok with them and then they have the sober him who is an amazing man. But after reading his step work books the other day from when he was in rehab it’s evident this has gone on and on for years and my dreams of him been a new person after rehab for our future together were never going to be met. Because Of this Iv realised now if he does find some one else she will be like him a drinker / addict as no “normal” woman will put up with this behaviour. They may have a good few months but nothing long term and it won’t be some one like me that’s for sure as Iv come to realise I’m better than this, took me awhile though to be fair. Best thing to do is maybe think to yourself do you want to be still in this situation 1 year, 3 years on.
It was 2 years ago this month my ex went on a 4 month bender at his leaches house, was so vile to me and even told his family I tried to poison him then came crying to me and I supported him to go to rehab. I had him back because he was his old self. 2 years on back here we are. Things just won’t change.