Yes I think it’s really affected my mental health the strain of trying to hold the mess together, a bit like that big box on the cat in the hat lol, trying to lock it knowing it will eventually explode but just delaying it. I am really gutted as I loved him so much but it’s became a job basically with no leisurely activities, we don’t have any plans together, even when we had he either couldn’t be bothered or he’s came with us but high on coke so really ruined the experience for me. I just stopped bothering to plan anything with him, used to have to make excuses why he didn’t get involved, then I just started telling my sister, his dad and mother in law why he wasn’t getting involved and it was like a weight lifted and it was no longer my problem, but did start to make me hate him gradually more and more. I was only covering it up to hold on to the little bit of love and avoid reality. I want more for myself and he’s comfortable just accepting bare minimum, working himself to the bone to hand majority of the money to someone else.
