Hello..
For some reason I decided today to come onto this forum and speak about my story.
4 or 5 years ago I discovered my boyfriend (of then 10years) was hiding a cocaine addiction. I have been through years of hell. We have 2 young children and his addiction destroyed everything. I would look through these pages for support and hope.
After a very long journey.. many break ups.. much deceit.. times when I was extremely concerned for the person I loved and hated all at the same time. I Can say he is 18 months clean and we have a brilliant relationship and family life.
He tried everything CA, hypnotherapy, we had an agreement that I was able to check his banking app at any time (to check for withdrawals to buy drugs) as he wanted my help.. at the end of the day I think he realised what he was losing and hit rock bottom. There were many relapses along the way.. I learned to know when he was lying and what to look out for so although he tried to lie in the end he couldn’t.
He worked out his triggers (a certain route home from work.. going to the pub) so avoided.
I wanted to give people on here some hope as I was once you. But my goodness I know the hell you are going through. And it has made me paranoid every time he’s out.. but I’m getting there. Please take a look at what you are and have dealt with and give yourself some love and make sure to be taking care of yourself.