I’d urge you to think about leaving.
I have stayed even though I didn’t want to and it’s only gotten progressively worse. I have been terrified to leave as he is very vindictive and the coke/crack has affected his brain so badly now that he doesn’t think rationally at all.
The abuse I suffered during lockdown(s) when he was using and I couldn’t even get a break was extreme and has changed me for life. Our child is now old enough that even if not for me, but for them, I have to leave.
Financially I also cannot carry on like this anymore as he has gotten us into so much debt, we are currently sinking. It will only get worse with the food price and energy price increases. Sometimes we don’t even have money for food… and that’s before these increases.
I have been waiting to be rehoused since last summer. Hopefully I won’t have to wait much longer.
Like one of the other posters said – our home is like a war zone too… marked walls, dents, broken furniture, broken items of mine, much of my clothing has been ripped by him grabbing at it or trying to rip it off me on purpose, phones smashed… he’s even broken toys and tipped books belonging to our child on purpose during his rages.
I don’t want any new items in the property as they will eventually just become broken and its heartbreaking, especially things of mine that held sentimental value. It is also embarrassing as how do you explain why all these things are busted. I rarely have anyone in the property these days.