Hi.
Sorry I took ages to reply.
In the end I think he just truly wanted it to stop. He’d considered suicide and knew he wasn’t the father he wanted to be for his kids and I was talking about selling the house.
Each time I found out he’d lied about taking it I kicked him out and he would stay at his mums or his friends (for weeks at a time). In the end when he finally came back he told me all the things I should look out for to know if he’s taking it. He explained even though he wanted me to know he took it he couldn’t find the words and just lied. I said I understood relapses would happen and if he told me wouldn’t be so bad.. so he would tell me or ‘let me find out’ such as let me see money is missing. I was always angry and upset it had happened but tried to make it clear it was better that he told me than lied. He knew if I kicked him out again he couldn’t/wouldn’t go back to his mums or friends so I think that was a big thing for him to stop and he just really wanted to stop. He found CA unhelpful, didn’t follow the 12 step plan (this is just his personality) he did do hypnotherapy which was another agreement we had in the end when he came back and that did massively help him (over zoom in covid).
Other than his own determination, honesty and possibly the hypnotherapy there’s no answer to how he really done it. Oh and massively avoided the triggers and was open with friends around him so they knew not to tempt him with triggers. I hope some of this is helpful.