Hi White feather, hope you’re okay.
I hope you don’t mind but to better understand so I can reply better there’s a few things I’d like to ask.
I’m a recovering cocaine addict, I’m 30 myself and spent the best years of my 20s destroying everything around me due to my cocaine use. So believe me when I say I more than likely know exactly where he is and also understand your concern.
If he follows the same pattern as most of us, it would of started out as something with friends, small amounts every so often but then he would have found himself unfortunately like myself, one of the ones who get hooked. It changes from being a social thing, to a very anti social thing like you say he does it alone. But there is often many stages of the relationship a person has with the stuff depending on how it affects their life. For example if he has you, a job he holds down, isnt in financial trouble then he won’t see it as too much of a bad thing. The fact he is talking to you openly about it suggests he doesn’t hide it and makes me think it hasn’t had too bad an impact. Others literally despise the stuff for all of the trouble it has caused but still can’t stop and continue daily.
So I guess the questions are, is he in general, doing okay? No money or job trouble? Do his friends also do it and are they open about it? At 36 does he show signs of wanting to settle down with family etc.
Also have you challenged him about it and asked him to stop? And if so, how did he take that?
Hopefully I can shed some light but it’s hard to be specific without knowing details.
Anyway hope you’re well. Speak soon
James x