Hi Natasha
I’m sorry that you are going through this too. My one is addicted to crack now (was originally cocaine), he also drinks and smokes and controls the money… none of which I agree with at all. We have a little one and I’m desperately trying to leave as I’m also suffering DV.
I cannot imagine wasting more of my life on this existence as it is not living, it really is just existing. I wake each day and wonder how I’m going to get through it and what kind of mood he will be in. I’m walking on eggshells. I have also finally come to the conclusion that no matter what, he will never change and even if he did, his core personality is abusive. He always blames everyone else, and especially me, for everything wrong in his life. I don’t want to be with someone like that.
Have you been in contact with any of the DV charities? Would it be possible for you to leave? It sounds as if your sons would be supportive of you leaving if you chose to. I know it’s a lot to think about.