Hi, I didnt want to read and run, because you have been so brave posting!
There are people on here better placed to answer, rather than partners of addicts (my husband was a coke addict) But it is possible to stop, with support of your family, a change in lifestyle and determination.
My husband is late 40’s and used for about 20 years on and off, mostly on, started socially then got a grip on him. He was also using diazepam, so and upper and a downer, along with alcohol, which is a trigger. I can’t tell you why he stopped really, I’d like to think it was because of how he could see it affecting those around him, but its more likely to be the fact his nose was/is damaged and if it collapsed, his parents would know what he’d been doing.
There is a Bliss and Eso song called Devil on my shoulder, my husband listened to it a lot in the early days of recovery. You need to keep yourself busy with clean friends, avoid alcohol, eat well etc. Do you have a good support network?