Thanks for your reply @RachBN.
Yeah I used the wrong term, I should have said “lapse” as I see it as falling off a bike.
I wouldn’t tell my NHS people as I am on a valium script.
A friend was on an opiate script and confessed a lapse to her mental health workers and they took her script off her, which I see as punishment, and no help at all.
I told my CPN I feel like using, and asked if a lapse would mean me losing my script, I said it in a way that was not fishing so I could use.
She didn’t know.
It’s a shame I feel I cannot be honest, however I am lucky to know a lady who used to work as a psychologist and she is excellent to talk to and understands the reason I have these lapses.