I really don’t know how much he is using it but I do know that since I met him 4 years ago I have caught him out about 8 times and each time he promised that he would stop and the last time he swore on his oath but each time he started again and I don’t know if he actually ever stopped. I don’t know if he uses all the time or it is just occasionally. I don’t think he takes it with anyone or hangs around anyone who takes it. He just seems to do it on his own. He wouldn’t talk to me about it. I don’t know if I’ve been married to a lie and I don’t know which one I’m in love with – either him on coke or him not on coke. I just don’t know what to do – I so desperately want to see him but I don’t want a husband who is addicted to coke as we have split 3 times now because of it xx
