aw no problem, much as i hate the fact that all this knowledge i didn’t want to have was dumped on me, it helps me come to terms with it all myself when i read it back.. i still can’t really believe I’m here in this situation tbh, but am glad to be of help to others in any way at all x
i do see a lot of similarity with our husbands bad habits.
in your position in some very painful ways it sounds as if you’ve had a lucky escape from this hell, you’re financially independent, have your own home and grown up kids. i know it’s absolutely heartbreaking as you love the man dearly, but you’ve got that boundary and you know you’ve got to stick to it for your own sanity. if he wants to earn his place back with you then he needs to get provably clean. maybe daily drug tests you supervise and/or meetings. he swore that oath before so there is a part of him that wants the relationship. but you can’t compete with the drug as you are not hijacking his brain functions!
i don’t know about his mum.. tough call really… he definitely shouldn’t be deceiving her, yet I’m not sure it’s our place to tell the addict’s people…. but… at that sane time it’s also not our secret to keep. why should we hurt ourselves by not telling the truth about our own lives? we’ve done nothing wrong!! i made my husband tell his family, partly because of our kids/their grandkids welfare is their business but also so they knew what we faced and could be one more little anchor to his recovery.
i have not told a lot of people but all my close family are aware, because i couldn’t suffer this alone without their support. plus a few good, dear friends.
i don’t want the world to know, partly because i feel some shame of this situation… wrong i know… I’ve nothing to feel ashamed about, yet i bet a lot of us feel that lurking shame too.
xx