Faith has some excellent advice here, its refreshing to read we are all in a very similar boat, even though its very sad.
My husband would never tell his parents, and if I had told them he would have probably done something stupid.
I never told my parents either, mainly because my dad had a dim view of him already, because he could see how absent he was, and I spent so long making excuses and covering up. My dad would wonder why I was mowing the grass at 9 months pregnant, why I had to get him to put curtain poles up, why wasnt my husband doing these things – because his head was buried in avoiding me because he wanted to do coke! And I thought that one I had told them, I could never untell them, and if my husband did sort himself out then how would that work, because they would never be able to look at him the same way.
I had a couple of close friends who knew it all, but thats it. And I think even they got fed up because they felt helpless and I didnt really listen to what they advised, because they didn’t really understand what I was living in. Until you’ve lived it, you have no idea.
Sending love x