Have a look at borderline personality disorder and narcisstic personality disorder… see if either rings any bells.
There is an element of grandiose thinking I think is a factor with mine. He bigs himself up and extends the truth about jobs etc.
Oh yes, mine says I’m mad and that he uses, drinks and smokes because of me. Funny that.. surely if you felt like that you’d leave the person?
Also when I met him he said he was a non-smoker, but he smoked… he also said he only drank socially but he was drinking every night and binge drinking every week on a night out! Plus, I recently found out he’d been addicted to crack years ago and has recreationally used drugs since his teens.
I think he genuinely believes I’m the cause of him using because I ‘stress him out’ but when I’m not here and we don’t have much or any contact, he still uses.