Hi Debbie,
I think you need to steer the conversation towards concern rather than accusing, he can play it down all he likes, the fact is that if he has to hide something from you then he shouldn’t be doing it right? He may not have a massive addiction problem, he may not be doing it every day, but it’s a problem for you, and you are married, therefore he has a problem.
If you can explain why is upsets you, the money, the hiding, the lies, the health concerns, the distance it’s creating between you two, he must respect your personal point of view. I felt like I was single most of the time, the connection breaks, I don’t know if you feel the same?
Stay strong, stay safe, tell him how much you want to save this, you’ll support him, allow him to take back control of his life etc.
Good luck xx