hi debbie,
a quick reply as im in Spain, but didn’t want to ignore x
i would agree with everything ash says above and even go as far as to say that in a way it doesn’t matter whether he thinks he is an addict or not… he might get very defensive if he feels cornered. what matters is that you do not wish to live the lifestyle of a cocaine user’s wife… if he wishes to continue using then he cannot keep the relationship.. simple enough to write here but not so easy when it is your life on the line x
i would suggest that you wish him to get clean and therefore he must prove himself with regular drug tests in your presence.
i would also suggest he might find it very hard to get clean and might well need help and support from a proper organisation… you are not responsible for his choices and it’s not fair for us addicts wives to shoulder any greater a burden than we already do.
i would be cautious that he might say anything to get this situation sorted and you are at great risk of being manipulated… beware x
one other thing i don’t know if ash would agree, but i bet she would…not trying to be a pessimist or ungrateful… but the sad truth is that we haven’t got our husbands back properly, or our relationships, or our futures.. we’re kind of stuck in this weird limbo place where we don’t really recognise ourselves or our husbands or our lives…always wondering if it will all come crashing down today… i have some trust in my husband of course… but honestly… i don’t even really trust myself anymore..my judgement has been completely and utterly undermined.
i don’t trust anyone at all these days.
i wish you the greatest luck snd strength and will be thinking of you xxx