Hi , I’ve quickly read some of the posts on this forum and they are not filling me with lots of hope.
My story is , I have been with my partner for 8 years and we have 4 children together , he told me at the start about his drug past but it was his past ,so I never really questioned him about it ..
We have a happy life however sometimes in the few years his been stressed his got angry and shouted some names occasionally at me , and once or twice thrown something at me but never hit me. But I could still tell his behaviour was not normal and his reactions to simple conversations were just ridiculous and out of control. I have always put it down to work stress , stress of raising young kids etc. however the last couple of years it been like living with Jekyll and Hyde never knowing which one is coming through the door ! Again it never crossed my mind it was drugs ..
until 4 days ago we were driving home from our holiday and he just lost it, broke up with me said his done, I’m disrespectful , accused me of mocking him and talking about him behind his back , the paranoid thoughts coming out of his mouth were unreal .. then that night when we got home he started accusing me of been unfaithful etc. I just said you need to go to the spare room ! He then came in admitted his been using cocaine , I’m in absolute and utter shock .. I feel sick I feel like I’m in some nightmare… he says his told me now because he wants to get better and wants to take the first steps and that ll he ll do anything I want .
Now I’m thinking lots and I remember time when we d be in the house and he d lock himself in the toilet which was weird so I had suspicions but never truly believed he d be doing drugs ! That was when our kids were in the house and he must of done it when alone with our kids like is this forgive-able..
can he get clean ,??
Or do I just leave now , I’ve said I’ll give him a chance .. but his lied to me soo much over the last number of years how will I know if he lies again … sorry this is a ramble I just have no one to talk too , if I told my family they d not understand and tell me leave straight away..
I see some of you have said get him to do regular urine tests , does this work ? At least I’d know if he was lying or not ..
Also have you gone to couples therapy or individual therapy etc ?