Oh Debbie, 🙁 Its a tactic addicts use. I copied these from the net re gaslighting and addiction.
‘Gaslighting is common in addiction because it allows the person to continue their behaviours without having constant resistance from loved ones. Loved ones may not realise they are being gaslighted until later on, thus causing further strain and hurt in the relationship. The signs and symptoms of gaslighting may be gradual at first and become more apparent over time. If a person with a drug addiction may hide their pill bottles or sneak away to take drugs. They may make excuses for their actions. When you confront them, they might make you believe that you’re either overreacting or confused. As the gaslighting victim becomes more confused, they may unknowingly become more accepting of the addict’s behaviour. Enabling an addict becomes easier when you’re convinced that they’re being honest about their behaviour, which can lead to even bigger problems.’
I don’t think he will tell you the cold hard truth, he will only ever admit to what you have evidence of. The little coke devil on his shoulder will be sat there saying ‘she wants us to break up, you need me, get out of this however you can, lie, create distance, make her think its all her fault that she’s pushing you away’
Someone who is a recovering addict will know better than me what is going on in their head, I wish Danman would join this thread, he’ll be a great help! I’ll find him on another chat and see if he can offer some assistance.
Keep smiling, dont let anyone dull your sparkle xx