i would say that there is no point bringing it up unless you have prepared mentally and emotionally to set out a firm boundary, and most of all ..be ready to stick with the outcome.
he plainly hasn’t cared for your feelings up til now and from what you say is almost hellbound to get defensive, deflect on to you and then you’ll end up feeling like the bad one… this is classic denial on his part.
personally if you don’t want to be married to someone actively abusing cocaine, then he must surely stop using and prove he is doing so. otherwise you must either learn to live with it (which i would not personally do) or lovingly detatch and try to heal yourself from all this trauma.
a lot of addicts struggle to get clean, but at least they’re trying (look at danman… he isn’t stopping trying to give up and it’s hard, hard work but he knows what to do and is doing it) .. sadly you’re bloke won’t even seem to admit there’s a problem. it’s heartbreaking to read. lile ash.. im so upset and sad and annoyed that yet more nice people are having their lives devasted by this awful, horrible demon that is addiction.
if you do bring it up .. just go straight to the point and be frank… you’ve got this… but if you can’t bring yourself to do so, we’ll all understand as it’s going to be a painful discussion xxx