Wow James, thank you so much, this made me smile reading this for the first time a while. You have explained it all so well and its such a lovely feeling to see that someone else understands.
What you have said about the fact that the morals and values seem to go out the window when in the state like trance really makes sense. Bearing in mind this is a man who I have learnt so much from and has made me a better person generally and his morals were something that I loved most about him which is why I suppose its hard to get my head around all of this, but this really helps because I have started now to see him morals are still there and this must be hurting him as much as it hurts me, if not more because going against your own morals is not a nice feeling, I am not at all perfect and have made mistakes and i know they are the hardest ones to get over when you know what you done it against what you personally believe in.
Thank you for the suggestions about the counselling , this makes perfect sense and is something that I have suggested to him before and he also has said is something that he would look into, although he hasn’t yet, perhaps it might be something I could mention once again as a suggestion, I agree massively that there is something deep down that somehow he hasn’t dealt with.
I genuinely appreciate your views and the time you took to respond, the only way I and others can get through these times is by hearing from others and you have really supported me today. For that I am so thankful.
Massive congrats to you for your recovery, it sounds like you have and continue to work hard, thank you for being an amazing person.
Lola x