Hi
Well we had a talk yesterday and basically he said that he uses occasionally and that he hasn’t had any since Easter which was after we split up – he did it with his son and his son’s friends – apparently they provided it. He says he can’t promise he won’t do it again but that he will tell me when he does. He said he is happy for me to test him whenever. I said that why did he test positive for so long during Christmas and he said that it shows different results if you have drank alcohol etc. Had an answer for everything. When he left 3 weeks ago he was so remorseful in his texts and even on Easter Sunday he was so upset that he had hurt me but either that day or the day after he did coke. I just don’t get it. Anyway he managed to turn it round to make me feel guilty and that it was because of me that he had left not him doing coke for the way I had asked his son not to allow the dog to jump up and all the things that I had made him and his children feel unwelcome but that was because I felt they were using me. Once again he made me feel bad that he didn’t feel like this was his home. I don’t know how he managed to twist it all round. Last night we went for something to eat and I don’t know how it came up but he said I had left my laptop open with my bank account details and what money I had in them and he said he took a photo. I was stunned that he did this sneaking behind my back but his justification was that I had left it open for all to see which obviously I didn’t as I didn’t want him to know what money I had. Once again he twisted this round and managed to somehow now say that I think he is a gold digger and he is absolutely fuming. And now I am left wondering if he is going to come back tonight with his sons but I highly doubt it and once again it will be my fault. I am at the point now where I know that I should stop this marriage as it is so toxic even though yesterday we said we would put the past in the past and try and make it work even though he didn’t really give me much information about the coke I forgave him yet again. xx