hmmm so many alarm bells ringing here!!! but good for you bringing it up as that took a lot of courage. unfortunately he sounds like he has been able to manipulate everything tbat was said in his favour so that you carry all the responsibility for this situation.
he paints himself and his kids as the victims of your behaviour, so that you feel bad and he doesn’t have to, classic manipulation tactic.
my first immediate reaction to him saying he hasn’t done any since Easter is … well that’s only a few days and what proof is there… my husband was very woolly about dates when he got caught… made out he’d cut right down over the previous few weeks but when i pointed out what he himself had told me. it was absolute rubbish! not saying your husband lied but hmmm… and his answer to splitting from you over cocaine is to do more? with his son??? hmmm hmm hmmm … are you close enough with his son to have a conversation with him about all this… (whose idea was it to get the drugs)… also… he does it, his son does it, the friends do it… so many alarm bells going off about all that x
his view on the tests… very convenient… the more heavy user you are the longer to test negative and it is true that alcohol makes it take longer to clear… but if he wants to prove himself clean surely it should be easy enough, right?
as for the bank … very, very shady indeed.
i can’t tell you what to do in your relationship, only you can decide that..and getting out of a relationship is so traumatic and hard. bloody hell, i can talk… i put up with terrible things and I’m that ashamed i can’t even bear to speak of them… all very clear reasons to have gotten out, but i didn’t.
however…. please. please make sure you have that legal safety behind you… don’t let yourself be financially ruined in the name of love as whatever the outcome of this marriage, you need to be able to live and look forward to a future which you clearly have worked so hard towards.
xxx