Mammy – if it creates a lot of strife and causes you a lot of disappointment then maybe just give up on trying to get him to do one. Is it really worth the stress?
If you have safeguarding concerns then you can prevent him seeing them and he can go to court to get an agreement regardinf when he can see them. The court can then force him to do drugs tests so you don’t have to.
I don’t know if it’s bad of me but with mine, I would assume that mine is still using to some degree until he proved otherwise with the onus on him to prove to me… not on me to make him prove… if you get me.
Part of them dealing with the addiction is admitting what they’ve done – the harm and impact on you and the children. If your husband was/is doing that then he would understand why you need the drugs test and want to do it to make you feel comfy. The fact he doesn’t makes me suspect that he is still using.