Hey Mammy
Have you looked into trauma bonding at all? Try typing this into Google – trauma bonding addiction
I think co-dependency or trauma bonding can be factors that cause us to feel bonded and in love with a person who has hurt us so badly…
I know when I go, I’ll be so sad and upset as although I’ll be relieved, I also still feel love towards him. I didn’t fall in love with someone I knew to be an addict.