It’s so hard because it feels like we are abandoning someone, but started counseling and she reminded me that it isn’t my job to take care of him, and that I’m addicted to the chaos myself… I have been separated for some time now and have so much peace knowing where every dollar goes, not having to deal with his lies anymore, not obsessed with moments I can look through his phone ( so embarrassing), etc. He is not a bad guy by any means, but due to his use he has not grown mentally like I have, and it makes my life with him so difficult. It feels like I am talking to a child all the time. He believes his happiness is my job, but I know better. This disease sucks, but I know there are plenty of good days ahead of me! Thank you all for your kind words, wish I would have talked about this in the midst of deep pain, now I just feel immense relieve and sadness for the loss of our relationship all at the same time.
