KStar , your words are comforting to me that this end result is possible although I never wanted to “ lose” my OH, but the coke has already done that – he has allowed it . I plan to separate too but I’m not just strong enough to start the ball rolling yet . .
When I asked him to leave for the few weeks I felt peace – I could focus on me which meant I was a better calmer mummy -I could of happy carried on like that I think too , and even though he is back and we are only living under a roof at the moment- no relationship . I can’t muster energy to do anything as my thoughts are taken by him and his addiction every single day .
DHAC I know exactly what you mean – I carry resentment and anger for him although this man deep down not on drugs is a lovely one – this is what makes me want to look after him still and feel pain at what he’s done to himself. But I can’t stay with him because of this – everyday and every week it’s just hell . I’m numb to it now and can’t ever think how we would go back to being US even if he did kick his habit , I think I would be forever paranoid and on edge ☹️X