Hi Maggie
Thanks for your message and for everything you’ve done through your supportive messages throughout this thread. You’re amazing.
9 months – seems impossible when you’re at the start doesn’t it. I’m so happy for you. I know for a fact you earned your recovery through a hell of a battle.
Just you saying the physical symptoms will soon ease is a comfort. You’re also absolutely right about the mental aspect. I think the mental side is becoming more acute as the days pass. The cumulative physical assaults don’t help with mental well-being but in terms of the mental symptoms, I’m not just depressed and anxious – long buried demons regarding confidence and esteem have returned with vengeance.
I know I can stop all this….. It’s such a leap of faith to keep going.
I won’t relapse. I can’t. I don’t deserve this. My partner certainly doesn’t. Oh god the guilt last night when he said what an amazing weekend he’d had due to us doing things together (even though I’ve been ‘poorly’). Usually I party through the night and sleep all day so I’ve deprived him of any quality relationship. Jesus the guilt.
Anyway, I’m rambling.
Thank you again for everything.