I’m so sorry you are me 3.5 years ago. I knew hubby done drugs before I met him & he told me he doesn’t anymore. He was going to work etc and I had zero idea he was doing it at all. Unlike your husband who told you ( massive congrats to him) mine didn’t but I found out & couldn’t believe it – he was spending hundreds of pounds a week and I didn’t know – how is this possible some May Say, well it is because it happened and has also happened three more times since without me having any idea. He doesn’t go out and does it at work etc when in a relapse and most likely in our home too & I didn’t have the foggiest . We’re still together and still in love and he’s in and out of CA , I am hopeful he will one day get it and stay clean for longer than six months at a time , my only boundaries I’ve put in place are that she continues to try & after every relapse gets back on his programme . When I see he’s given up ( hopefully that won’t happen) and just doesn’t attend CA or work hard then that will be the day we are over.
I’ve joined Al Anon and go to two meetings a week & have my own programme, not for him for me, because I need it and need the support- I would deffo recommend it to you if you haven’t already looked into it.
The main thing is you can’t control his drug usage no matter how hard you try.
I’ll tell you a. Funny ish story about the drug tests. I also brought some from Amazon a while back- before Al Anon and sprung this on him one evening- he was not keen as you can imagine , I said look I’ll do one too ( no idea why as have never taken drugs before) but anyway here I go take the test and it’s positive !!????I am not joking, you can’t write it, so I had to take another two which were then negative but of course I was thinking stupid things are wrong anyway. In the end he done one, it was positive – but so was mine so we had to do another again positive, I was all ready to go mad, then I said do another just to be sure it was negative , done another it was negative – so gave up completely . Next day i asked my best mate to do three and two were positive one negative and she also doesn’t do drugs. This lesson to me was either 1) don’t buy cheap tests or 2) just don’t bother & I chose the second one because by then had gone to first al anon meeting and realised there’s no point . Focus on yourself and look after yourself x