Sounds like my life except mine is nearly 50 and I’m younger and we share a young child who’s now in the middle of this miserable existence. Mine also has often referred to it being okay as politicians and police men do it! Like that makes it okay!?
I think you can leave and still be there for someone at a distance while they deal with their addiction and recovery. I am inclined to think this is healthier than staying but that’s also influenced by my own experiences and situation.
I feel completely trapped too and will only get out once the council rehouse me which is taking ages (coming up for a year now). I cannot stay. I have had enough and me and our child deserve better… stability and safety and just to be free of living with an addict who controls the house and environment.