Kind of, when he uses he won’t come home straight away as he doesn’t want to acknowledge what it is he does. It’s usually one or two hours later than he’s due to come back from work, just sits in his car doing what he does somewhere. He likes to be undisturbed and I think when I have a go at him, he becomes angry with me for ruining his high.
So he was off it for a week last week and yesterday he decided to have it again and he’s just not come home this time. I think because he’s not had it for a week he feels he deserved a blow out.
I want him to feel as hurt as I do by it but it’s not going to happen.
He’s putting the blame on me again today but I’m sticking to my guns and keep letting him know that my reaction towards him is down to his action.
I’m not allowing myself to be drawn in to his chaos because he’s weak to cocaine.
My mind wanders and often thinks what else is he up to, but I can’t torture myself like that, it’s not fair.
Do you ever look at the life you have and think how did it get to this point?!