Hiya mate. I’m 5 month clean from cocaine now. Your story is same to mine. Going out and using. 10 years later addict using on your own.
My best advice and what has worked for me is 1st off be honest with your partner tell her what you are doing if she doesn’t know. Otherwise it’s gonna be lie after lie. Which is not good in recovery. Then get your arse to a cocaine anonymous meeting and get a sponsor work the 12 steps and be honest. Change your life around cut people off, get a new sim card. Come off all social media. I would never of got this far clean without ca. Plus u can’t drink ever again aswell. No. Drugs what so ever.
I promise you hand on heart you will get better if u join. You make loads of clean friends and will get the help you need. Download zoom and go on ca website and you can do zoom meetings aswell. Do them every day.
Don’t be put off by ca regarding god and that. It’s not all about god.
And to be honest I get on my knees day and night and pray to God.
And it keeps me clean. It’s better than putting that crap in to.
Just get it sorted today mate. Ignore your head saying don’t bother ect… Your addict brain is so clever it does not want you to get better. It wants you to all its self.
You got this mate. Just believe in yourself