fs.. sausage fingers again!
their brains rewire to prioritise the drug above everything else.. food, sleep, family and sex.. and as time goes by they stop at nothing to get their fix.. hence addicts are capable of stealing from tbeir own granny!
the good news is that they can overcome this illness and their brain can relearn it’s normal pathways, they need to be committed and above all, keep trying if they fall.
a lot of people swear by ca/aa/na… my husband went to ca and it got him on the right track. i made him. he’s glad he did because they are all recovering addicts and obviously know better than anyone the struggle.
some manage to break the habit without that assistance – ash’s husband managed to do so and has stayed clean.
what i would say is that you have to do what works for you, and don’t allow them (our addicts) to push you around any more.
you need to think about what your boundaries are and then get ready to enforce them. addicts love pushing boundaries.
in terms of his shame… during active addiction they go through cycles of shame, anger at themselves and the world, self-loathing and despair, even suicidal. they generally know what they’re doing is wrong and harmful.
but… the addict voice in their head lies to them and is the loudest… so they take more drugs in the hope of feeling better and end up feeling even worse. my husband is deeply ashamed of how he has behaved. he has been absolutely horrible and violent because of that stuff. he will never fully get over it.
at first my husband needed to be treated like a child… no cash/no money/babysat… and regular drug tests.
he’s okay now on that score.
do you know how much your husband was using/how long has he had the habit? mine was 2.5 years… and he wanted out but didn’t know how and shame kept it secret.
i think much longer and it would have been very much harder to get out.
so yeah, welcome to our corner where we aren’t quite so lonely in this strange world.
hope my ramblings can help a bit xx