Hello ????.
I’m new here and I’m stunned how many people are in the similar situation to mine. I guess I’m looking for support because I just don’t know what to do anymore.
September last year my fiancé broke to me that he’s been using cocaine for 9 months nearly every day. By ‘broke to me’ it was me asking him whether he did because his behaviour changed, he always had a bunged up nose and he kept withdrawing from me. After many months of tears, more secrets out, him having a mental breakdown and being thousands of pounds in debt I finally thought we were getting somewhere. He was back at work part time, stopped using (last time he did was in February this year). Then he used an opportunity when I was out with friends to buy some and took it all at once… I’m just so heartbroken, we postponed the wedding again because of his mental health and debt, but now I don’t even know if I can commit to him and this recovery.
I read a lot of horror stories of husbands hiding, lying and being monsters on this forum. My fiance did blame me for a lot whe he was very poorly with his mental health, but since I’ve found out about his addiction he’s told me about every relapse. He knows he’s got a problem, he suggested I take all his bank cards so he can’t buy any that he will go to all the meetings again and will start talking to his therapist again. So it seems like he wants to get better, but I just wonder whether I’m clinging onto whatever I can. He’s also said it can be all over tomorrow, I just need to say because it’s his battle and he’s dragging me down and I don’t deserve it. I just need to tell him to go and ill have my life back. Like it is a lot of the times with these things, he has been using drugs to deal with his poor mental health, so that’s a problem as much as the drugs, as he seems to be reaching out for them every time he struggles. At this point I’m not sure whether I can marry him and commit my life to this. Its been nearly 2 years of hell and its just not life. Im 31, weve been together for nearly 8 years and i just feel robbed of my future. I thought we would be trying for babies right now, yet were here, with the wedding postponed again, and so much heartache idk i can take anymore. So I guess I’m reaching out for a bit of support, and perhaps an opinion of people who might be in a similar situation to mine.