Thanks so much for your reply and kind words. I think it would be easier to leave if he refused to get help and was a total arsehole.
But he is devastated by his latest relapse, took all my screams and tears on the chin last night and he reckons he will be back at work tomorrow.
He has been seeing a therapist and taking antidepressants. But he has stopped seeing his therapist for a little bit, because he felt like he’s well enough to try without him (they’re also expensive). He struggled with his mental health a bit more those last couple of weeks, and last week he told me he will go gp and up his antidepressant dosage, and will go back to his therapist. Sounds like he’s on it, right?
And last night when he relapsed, he said he will go to all support groups meetings etc. So, unlike a lot of husbands on this forum, he does seem to be wanting to get better, was sober for 3 months and told me straight away every time he relapsed. He started taking care of himself, like exercise and eat healthy. But just because someone else’s husband sounds worse than mine, does it mean I should stay? Am I just clutching at straws? And like debbieg2020 said, I don’t know if I can be living in constant fear it’ll all come crashing down again. 31 seems an awkward age to leave, because I’m not getting any younger and want children. Not that that is my reason to stay, it terrifies me to think I could bring children into this. I just never thought we’d be here, as like a lot of people said on this forum, my fiancé adored me and we were the power couple everyone looked up to. I just can’t believe we are where we are.