Hi Yellowsky
Unfortunately I know what you are talking about.
My partner, who is an addict, has managed to bring about the same changes in himself through cocaine, and now crack, usage.
He has extreme paranoia and delusions. He believes people are living in our loft and spying on him. He bangs loudly on the walls and the ceiling with objects… in the process he has destroyed the paintwork in our bedroom. He frequently insists we keep all the windows shut and all the curtains shut and the blind down… so we essentially live in semi darkness.
My addict is very volatile. He thinks people are watching him from cars outside and using drones to spy and listen to what’s going on in the house… so he’s constantly watching CCTV and analysing who is out there. He thinks the neighbours are in on it.
If I don’t act appropriately and go along with it, he gets really aggressive and his fear manifests in volatility. So I have to live like that too.
We share a child and I’m currently waiting to be rehoused. I can’t stand it any longer. I dream of the day I get out. I’m so fed up with it.
I have the same concern and issue as you in that when he doesn’t do the drugs he is as actively paranoid and delusional as when he does them… it’s not as if it goes away. It’s as if that is a permanent change, which is very worrying and sad.
Anyway, my advice is to call 111 and press option 2 to speak to the mental health crisis team when he is actively delusional. Mine has been seen because he has overdosed on prescription drugs. He never mentioned his illegal drug usage. I don’t feel it is my place to mention it myself.
Another option for you is to get in contact with the local drug and alcohol services for advice.
Unfortunately, as you’ve found, if the addict doesn’t want help then you pretty stuck. Mine is not actively engaging with any help. He’s not ready yet. I think when I’ve left he might be as he might hit rock bottom or be might just die… I don’t know.
There are groups for parents and partners of addicts. I’ve just started to seek out help from one of them. A bit like CA but for the families.
xx