Hi Natasha
It makes no sense, as you say, if he is getting paid weekly going forwards. Why would he need all that money – well, unless he was going to pay back debt to a dealer or someone he’s borrowed from as well as buying some more. There’s definitely something off there…
Mine was supposed to be working today and I was really looking forward to some alone time as I don’t feel very well (exhausted). His boss told him he didn’t need him today, so he’s off. Of course he has spent the day getting high, drinking and smoking. 🙁
Like you, I lie awake worrying about money. He doesn’t seem to be worried. I have also been in the running out of food situation. I got paid today. I am supposed to be using some of the money for our child’s birthday presents and birthday party. Instead, he’s aleady had money off me… he owes me just over 150. I can’t afford it… I told him, he’d better get back to work and give me my money back. I’m running out of patience! As I said, I really can’t handle him off the drugs, so I am literally enabling him in order to be safe. It’s ridiculous!
I used to feel guilty about it, but not anymore. I am trying to survive. I will do whatever I have to in order to survive and get out.
I just looked and my last bid on a property came up ranking 1-5 again, but I haven’t heard anything from them so I am assuming I was in the 2-5 and not the person picked. I seem to always be just missing out. I have promised myself that if I haven’t gotten anywhere in 2 more weeks then I will speak to the council about being reassessed to see if I can be moved up a band.
I am so fed up of my living situation – it’s really affecting my mental health. He controls the whole house. Everything I do within it is dictated by him – I have no freedom. He smokes in the house – it is so disgusting… like a thick fog and stinks. We have a young child. I cannot understand why he thinks that it is okay to do that?! His behaviour towards me is vile when he’s not on something and even when he is on something he is still bossing me around and dictating… just not violent.
I was sad to see what you said about being unable to leave due to your children being over 16. I understand what you are saying as I have read of this being the case for other women. Are your children old enough to work and contribute? Could you move out into private, rented acommodation with their help?
I spent a long time waiting and hoping that mine would leave and then I realised he never would. It is really hard when you are stuck living in a house with a person who is unpredictable, mean and violent.
Thinking of you… the next 4 days are going to be super trying. I’m hoping mine does go to work for some of it!
xx