Hi jamesb
Thank you so much for your reply
I’ve read and re-read your post to understand how he is feeling.
I’m trying
However I wanted to talk about his addiction but he has told me he is not using. He did and has always used (recreational)since I met him. which to me is saying he has lied to me all my life. He said I need to love him unconditionally and get past that he used cocaine. As I’ve asked previously especially when my cousin died from taking drugs and drowned in a river and wasn’t found for 6 weeks!!
I think this is why I hurt so much.
He also has mental illness and was diagnosed this when I was with him as he had bouts of anxiety but I’m thinking again was it really because of his mental health or is his mental illness because of the use of drugs!!
I wish he would talk to me about it but he shuts me out. He is upstairs now as can’t sit in living room & watch tv with me as he sniffly and needs to talk through the programme so he now has anxiety. I need to watch tv without distraction but I will try again for him. As you can see I do love him but if I find that he has been using again I will have to leave as it’s effecting my health.
Thank you for your support and helping me to understand that addiction is an illness but can only be helped if they want it.
Thank you for sharing your story xx