Never be ashamed!
My goodness, we all pray and try to help our loved ones in hope they will stay clean.
Be proud that you have supported him, but also recognise you need to come first now.
I tried for 11 years to support my husband with his cocaine addiction. Also convinced myself everytime he crossed a certain time period he was in recovery. Its love! Its hope!
Nearly 2 years after losing his wife and children he’s still using! I’m relieved I walked away.
If you feel that he still has options to explore that will help him stay clean and your still strong enough I wish you luck.
It’s so hard to walk away, but put you first.
Much love x