Hello, I’ve been reading through all of your posts and I’m so sorry some of you are still fighting the same battle, it is so exhausting isn’t it?
I thought I’d give a little update. Since his relapse 2 weeks ago he’s doing well. He’s going to work, helping in the house and he’s signed up for the support group in our town. He’s seeing his therapist this week too, and I think he’s finally admitted that he can’t do it on his own. He’s also accepted that cannabis is as much of a problem as cocaine.
I’m struggling. I can see he’s feeling good and motivated, he’s doing all the right things. It’s not been a bliss since his relapse, we had couple of arguments, but nowhere near as bad as we used to. I’m really trying to keep remembering how far he’s come. He’s been using pretty much everyday in the weeks before he told me about his problem, he’s spent 3 months in bed after he confessed, barely eating and smoking weed for breakfast.
Our friends have been amazing and I’m so grateful for them. But seeing my friends happy, leading normal lives really makes me feel like I’m missing out. I’m going on holiday next month with a friend, and I’m already worrying about him staying here on his own, especially if he starts struggling again. At the same time I do feel like I’m slowly checking out, trying to do things that make me feel happy, and bracing myself for a disaster at some point in the semi-near future.