Hi thank you for your message. I will go away I think with him and it may make him realise when he next takes it and I find out when we are back what he will be missing as I’m pretty sure we will get on well on holiday as he will be coke free – god forbid he if he sneaks some on board and if he does I hope to god he gets caught unless he puts it in my luggage!!! – perish the thought….I’m so done with crying and even if I do there is absolutely zero empathy from him. He is actually disgusting come to think of it. I now know that when he treats me like he has that he is taking coke as no normal rational person that is supposed to be in love with you would behave like that. I actually now crave his boys to come down so I don’t have to spend time with him. It’s funny how he can be so caring and lovely to everyone else except me when he is taking it. I suppose it’s because I am the one that knows about it and is trying to stop him and he is so resentful about this. Last week when I found out he had taken it he said to me that it doesn’t change the person that he is and he’s not hurting anyone. I just can’t understand how he cannot see that he is such a different person and has a personality transplant when taking it. It’s like living with a monster. Next time I am going to try to record him when he is on one of his tirades and then play it back to him when sober so he can actually see what he is like to me. x
