Hi Debbie,
Oh goodness, this sounds like he’s getting worse. It sounds like my husband, its like living with someone with a split personality, and you never quite know what you are going to get form one day to the next. The problem is that the bad days start to outweigh the good, if they havent already, and you’ll hang on to the glimmer of the good days, even though they are few and far between.
I used to listen to him on the phone to anyone else and he’d be totally fine, then he’d speak to me like he’d just trodden in me. Its because you/me are the ones who are trying to get him to stop! So we are/were the enemy in their messed up brains.
I understand why you want to go away, and why you want to do that with him, and i’m sure you will have a lovely time. But its not the real world anymore, a clean holiday is just a sticking plaster, and it will fall off when you come home. Its paid for, so do it, and enjoy it, but I can’t think it will make any difference because he’s totally in denial.
Take care of yourself x