I’m precisely the same. I have had surgery on my back 3 times. Every day I wake up in absolute agony.
I want to taper down but I know I dont have the discipline whatsoever.
I have just calculated I spend approx £300 a month! No wonder I am always skint and stressing over money.
I feel like crying. How did I get in such a mess?
Just like you, I am terrified of the withdrawal so always think to myself…I will start tomorrow! Tomorrow comes and the first thing I do is go and get some more NP! I have to alternate pharmacies as I have been refused them before…..bank Holidays are the worst, trying to find a pharmacy that’s open or even buying extra the day before! It’s absolutely crazy, it’s madness! All for those stupid pills! A months worth of codeine phosphate on prescription barely lasts me a week! I can take a whole sleeve or more in a day! How am I not a zombie? The messed up thing is I don’t even feel the effects anymore. They make me just feel normal, not high, not sleepy, not anything. Just normal. So why do I even take them all?
God I absolutely hate this! I have nothing in the bank so by default I have no choice but to go cold turkey tomorrow, it’s scary. Straight away m nose starts running and I start to get really sweaty. It’s absolutely awful