that’s so sad. at least she is young enough that you have plenty of time to reverse some of the damage.
unfortunately our kids have seen much, much worse. they’ve suffered many days and nights of us fighting and arguing. yelling, screaming, hitting eachother (not instigated by me), stuff smashed, pushing and shoving, holes in doors and walls, before the drugs, off the scale during the drugs and even sometimes since… though absolutely on any scale like before.
and unfortunately they are much older too.
my son is actually doing ok. he is 14 and frankly it brings tears to my eyes to see how chilled out and kind and loving he is. he loves us both and just wants to live in a peaceful house. i do worry a lot about him internalising his pain but we talk a lot. though he doesn’t like talking about his feelings i encourage him to do so. he has given many hugs to me when the sh1t has hit the fan, though inside I’m dying that he has to know of such things but I’m so proud of the young manvhe is becoming despite all this.
my 11 yo daughter however is not in such a good way. she is traumatised. she is angry with us both. she has seen and heard too much. she has her own issues. we think she has adhd. and also my husband almost certainly does. she is so angry at the world. she has self esteem issues. she has even self harmed. we have been trying to get her assessed is cahms for adhd since she was 6. it’s awful. when she goes, she sounds like her father. the things they say could be interchangeable. i see in her his issues. i am afraid she will end up on his road of self destruct.
if he doesn’t shape up, and stay shaped up her future is at risk.
I’ve told him straight i won’t allow his behaviour to hurt her in her own home any more. it was a shock for him to realise just how seriously he has damaged her.
hopefully enough? who knows…. he is an addict… do they ever really stop being themselves?
god knows xxx
when i was feeling suicidal over all this stuff, the fear of him wrecking their life chances if i didn’t stay around soon made me remember my place is here. I’m here for them, not me but then i found the sun did come back out and I’m glad i stayed to fight another day.
sorry it’s a depressing post!