another quick reply from me as I’m off to the optician to try contacts in a minute!
about these drug tests… personally… and obvs it’s your choice…. i wouldn’t recommend going cloak and dagger and randomly popping them out… he might feel pretty cornered and you could end up with things blowing up in your face!
personally… I think you have every right to insist that he is provably clean.. for us i do not want someone on class a drugs around my kids. full stop. use or stay. the choice for the addict to make. you want to be here… prove you are clean! that’s me though.
so… we did daily tongue strip tests. every night before bed. in full view so no shady fake result tactics. i even did a couple to show willing and normalise it. went through a few packs but over time it became less important as it was clear he had no intention of going back to the circle of misery. he wanted out.
as for the lies… it’s a horrible, horrible feeling having been lied to in the way these addicts do. it’s like icy cold fingers clutching at your insides.
it sounds like similar to me with various little snippets and memories are clicking into place and it’s just the worst.
as i say 1.5 years is long but it’s not unfixable. but it has to come from them being honest every day and yes, you will be second guessing a lot and need proof sometimes.
from what you say your addict is relieved to be out from that horrid place of lies and misery.
hopefully he is genuine and it goes the right way for you.
my husband is 16 months and 1 day since he got caught and he is doing okay… he has his faults and a lot of work to do but thankfully sneaking around taking drugs no longer features.
hope you’re okay today xx
lots of love
oh .. i saw you haven’t spoken to anyone in real life… i cant recommend highly enough talking to at least one friend or family member… what you’re going through is massive and distressing. you shouldn’t have to go through it alone smiling and pretending all is fine when inside you’re dying. people understand a lot better than we might expect.
gotta go… x