Firstly I am so sorry that you are in this situation with a young child and I might as well have written your post except that I don’t have kids with him and we are in are 50’s – I met him 4 years ago and have been married for 2. I found out that he had taken coke not too long after I met him and was really surprised and shocked to find 2 wraps (I think they are called) hidden in his cupboard which bought up red flags for me. I have since found out quite a few times when he has taken it and the last time we split up about 7 weeks ago and he said he had hit rock bottom but even when we had split for 2 weeks he still took it with his son whose 21 and his son’s friends when they were playing poker at his mums house. Shocking for his poor mum as she already has another divorced son living with her who is an ex addict and alcoholic. It would kill her if she found out about my husband too. I since found out that 2 weeks ago he bumped into someone (presumably a dealer) at a pub and said he was given 2 lines but didn’t buy any but I guess that it triggered a craving as this weekend he was so awful to me that I secretly tested his urine and it came back positive. He denied it said the test was faulty and got so angry with me. I really don’t want this stress in my life and am slowly checking out even though I love him very much and like you I feel exhausted x
