debbie, i am so sad for you in what you write. it really does hurt our mental health so badly. please keep going and remember that you have done nothing wrong to deserve this terrible situation.
realistically we can’t control anything in this, except how we ourselves react. deep down somewhere inside him I’m sure he knows how rotten he is being but to admit to one thing would unravel everything and that addict mindset cannot allow that to happen. he is in denial and lies to himself more even than you can imagine.
i hope you will still manage to go on your holiday, i think you need and deserve it. i don’t know if going with him is the greatest plan but maybe this holiday is the catalyst for change. i am so sorry that you’re still stuck on that merry-go-round x