Hi! Do you think you would have stayed if it was just the drugs and not the behaviour before? We have had problems before maybe twice where he has had a drink and not told me, and the only problem in our relationship was the drinking and drugs. Even though the drinking wasn’t necessarily a problem he had done stupid things like had a beer or two and drove home even though he knows not to. So he has said he is done with drinking also and that he feels better not having had drink or drugs in 2 weeks. He said he is looking forward to this next chapter but I just feel down about it all.
We talked about it yesterday but I feel stuck in a rut and it frustrates him at times because although he accepts the mistakes he wants us to move forward but I struggle. I’ve never done anything to hurt him before so in that sense I don’t think he understands.
The drug tests came today, he actually told me to get alcohol ones too so he can prove both. I just worry that he will slowly go back to the drink and maybe the drugs and when I voice this he says he won’t and to let him prove it to me. I just feel down the line there is a looming disappointment and maybe that’s the wrong way to look at it but I feel like I want to prepare myself.
I have even standoffish but today I woke up feeling better about moving forward.
I get a pang of pain when people say they would leave if they didn’t have children and I feel thats what maybe is best as we have no ties like that but then I feel we should maybe give it another shot as this is the only problem we have. Even during the drugs he didn’t take them every day and his behaviour was pretty much normal. There were days I knew something was up and I used to ask if he had taken something or had a drink because his voice was different but he always completely denied it and that’s what kills me, because he lied directly to my face.
I think I want to keep trying for now but when I think of leaving I sort of get a sense of relief. If this was the only problem in a relationship would you be inclined to give it another chance? As I said above he’s let me down before regarding drink etc.
Hope you’re having a good day today! X