Hi , so sad to read your post I can completely empathise with your story and the pain in your heart and the want to make everything right and happy again for your son and your relationships.
Looking back over the years regarding my sons addiction it was destroying My mental sanity , the relationship with my son , my marriage , I was living my life with only tears and sadness , and my home was being beaten up too ! I came to a point of my own rock bottom ! I was where you seem to be now ! A living hell ! And why ? All Because of my sons life style and choices ,
So ! The best choice I ever made was to save my self !!! And my marriage And little did I know my sons life to ! It’s sink or swim !
I rang the 0300 help line number family s with addictive children ! And was given the one answer that I had not implemented to my son ! And had not carried out for years and years the answer “Consequences “ the consequences for his actions and total disrespect he showed living in my home his home ! And the addictive destruction he was doing to himself , the lack of respect and concern for me his dad and family
So I called the police and asked him to leave my home I had him removed I packed his bag and sent him out of my home to live the life and style that he desired to live ! Drugged stoned aggressive and uncaring he was horrified and shouted at me ! He was now the council s problem
He left he had to ring a homeless charity and for 3 months lived in a homeless council hostel ! With drug addicts ! With out me !! enabling him ! With No contact
It Worked it was the hardest heart wrenching thing I have ever done but the best thing too , I saved myself my marriage but best of all he saved himself too
Today my son is 4 months clean and sober and living back in my home , no drugs , weed smoking , no smashing up my home ! Phycosis delusion ! Self harming stopped ???????? Iv gained his respect at last and he has gained mine !???????? I put rules into place home rules !! If he wants to live in our home !
He now has a full time job ! Is Under the early intervention team , a psychiatrist and on medication for drug induced psychosis and depression, And has been diagnosed now with ADHD ! Which is probably why he smoked weed in the first place ! And is waiting for medication
So if I can give you any advice it would be to draw a line on enabling him to continue to crumble you , and everything around you darken your life and relationship, it’s tough love , get on with your own life if you can
Its His choice of life style and his need to smoke weed is his own negative consequence to himself you can’t control that , unfortunately he will decide when he has had enough ! And you will decide when you have had enough !
So remember the word ! Consequences and stick to your rules if he breaks them rules you have set him then it’s down to you to decide how to deal with it and don’t back down , as long as it’s in a calm way
My life is for now peaceful and Iv been to hell believe me !
Good luck stay strong and there will be a light and happier times ahead I’m living proof