Hi Linda,
Thank you so much for giving me hope. So happy for you, your son doing his best to sober up, he is so lucky to have a mother like you and am sure he appreciated.
Apologies for my spelling and grammar mistakes in the previous post but am writing using my phone and I was so emotional writing it as I never talked about my struggles with my son.
Seeing my son throwing away his present, future and maybe his life, is the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life and I’ve been through a lot. He is basically vanishing before my eyes. He lost so much weight and looks very very thin, he hardly eat since heavy cannabis use block appetite.
The whole irony, am still talking about him and not even taking a minute to say how I feel.
This month, he hasn’t smoked weed in the house but he still keep it in his room so the smell still overwhelming.
Last night I begged him again to get help told how much I love him and my utter willingness to get him private therapy and rehab and offered to buy him a car, holiday and permanent job if he decides not to get uni or if he doesn’t get any grade, as a man it’s very hard to beg and I weeped while talking to him. His response was: leave me alone and don’t destroy my summer same, I am an adult this my life not yours I can do whatever I want. I love you so much dad but ultimately it’s my life.
My wife thinks like him and say, it’s his choice and you should love your son the way he is even if he is an addict, she always financed his addiction indirectly. She talk to him like there isn’t any problem and very happy to ignore the whole addiction subject so my son obviously has a better relationship with his mum. However, it’s very sad relationship as he will not talk to her about anything happening in his life nor sit with her more than 5-10 minutes a day but she is very happy he is not rude to her. She gets on well with her life interms of socialising and happy to host various girls night till very late.
She will not agree to any sanctions and never ever say no to him. That’s the truth I promise you.
So very difficult situation for me as I am the only one in the house who is always sad and worried. I’ve been told I need to chill and take it day by day but can’t do that knowing I am being disrespected daily, ignored and being used for cash only to pay for the big house in Surrey, private schools….etc