I’m so glad to talk to others who know exactly how this is and how it feels , because even though our families and friends have been so supportive to me since I outed him and I’ll be forever grateful they can’t believe or fully get the crap that happens , the day in day out life ruining path this addiction has caused ,
Mine starting talking about home
Improvements this weekend and I actually said you need to fix yourself before you start anything else – his reply there’s nothing wrong with me that was just a blip last week . Mine has disappeared for days binging since March – in the end I didn’t even have to ask him to leave when I found him out he would go voluntarily and on a bender until he came back all emotional and upset with his pity party and promises that just get smashed to pieces every time .
I stopped even trying to find him in the end . His family worried sick and. Was like don’t worry sounds cold but he will he holed up in a decent hotel somewhere sniffing till his hearts content. I’m so anxious because I’m getting old r and can’t bear the thought that I maybe in the same predicament in 5/10 years time as he’s been at it for 2 yrs now and I didn’t know for part of that .
I am cold with mine , I don’t want any affection from him , physically stopped months ago because I feel sick .realised that he used to make moves when on it and I didn’t know and how I feel used so don’t want him near me . To be fair I don’t know why he’s still with me ( probably because I still run home life for him ) .he’s got us into financial trouble with risky coke behaviour , he drinks too much and refuses to except this fuels his triggers , he won’t get professional help, he’s unreliable with numerous things esp managing the kids , I’m sick of his come downs , he got bad indigestion tonight and was making a song and dance about it – all I could think was well there you go , that’s the coke I’m not interested . I feel like I’m sat on a ticking time bomb incase he goes proper under Meaning work , home everything we share together crashes down all because he likes to shovel that sh1t up his nose ( sorry I’ve got angry just recalling things ). I can’t even watch a tv program with drugs in it without getting angry because this stuff really has ruined everything I know xxx
Bella I’m on anti Ds too – I feel like I’m only on them
Now because of him and I’m frightened of wobbling With the stress from this . Otherwise I’d of been off them a while back xxx